Please know that I no longer recommend this book or study. As the years have gone by, my thoughts have changed and grown. In my opinion, it fuels disordered eating and also stigmatizes people in larger bodies. My paradigm has shifted dramatically around food and body, and I have found freedom in this area through Intuitive Eating and a Health at Every Size approach (from a Christian perspective). You can find out more over at my blog StacieNelson.com
Find the introductory post to this Made to Crave series here.
I have always been fascinated with the weight-loss saga of Oprah Winfrey. Here you have a woman with access to the best money can buy–personal trainers, chefs, nutritionists, gym equipment, supplements–and yet, she has a raging battle with her weight. Why?
I’m convinced it’s about way more than just diet and exercise. It’s about way more than just feeling full.
I know how to lose weight. I can tell you exactly what to do. Because I’ve done it once.
And twice. And three times. And four times. And five times. And…..well, you get the picture.
About twelve weeks after my second daughter was born, I was at the heaviest weight I’ve ever been (except during pregnancy, of course). With the motivation of our town’s weight-loss competition, I lost 45 pounds. A few months later, I was pregnant with our third daughter. Again, I participated in our town’s competition after she was born, and I ended up at my lowest weight I can remember (I may have been near that number as a middle school girl)!
Fast forward five years, and I’m up seven pounds. I know it’s not really that much, and I’m definitely not even close to my highest weight. But I just don’t like it. I just don’t feel well. I just don’t want a muffin top. Is that too much to ask? 😉
That’s where this Made to Crave study comes in. I know how to lose the weight. The missing element for me right now is my “want-to”. I know I can’t just do it for physical appearance, I can’t just do it for health, and I can’t just do it for energy. Although those are valid, I know I won’t stick with it if those are my motivating reasons. I’ve tried in the past, and it hasn’t worked! I’ve been asking for wisdom and deeper insight into why I’m struggling with this.
Made to Crave
In my reading of chapters 1-3, I was just struck over and over again with the idea that we were made to crave. “Uh, duh, Stacie! Isn’t that the title of the book?” I know that’s what you’re thinking…but hear me out!
Ultimately, our hearts were made to crave God, but we have this problem with misplaced cravings. Some of us crave food, others crave material possessions, others crave love, some crave fitting in, some crave alcohol, some crave significance. Sometimes, we crave all of those things!
I never really thought about my cravings for food as spiritually significant. I’m a stress-eater. I also eat when I don’t want to think about or talk about my feelings. While I know those are not healthy choices, they’ve become a pattern of coping in my life–but not something I really thought God cared about.
Until I read the book. And then, I completely identified with this:
“But I did need to make changes. I knew it. Because this wasn’t really about the scale or what clothing size I was; it was about the battle that raged in my heart. I thought about, craved, and arranged my life too much around food (emphasis mine). So much so, I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control. Really surrender. Surrender to the point where I’d made radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health perhaps even more than my physical health.
Part of my surrender was asking myself a really raw question.
May I ask you this same raw question? Is it possible we love and rely on food more than we love and rely on God?” (Lysa TerKeurst, Made to Crave, page 28)
I asked myself that tough question, and the honest answer is yes. Yes, I run to food for comfort more often than I run to my loving Father. And I feel so stupid admitting that. Yet, I’m not going to beat myself up over it. I’m just going to recognize we all have something we run to–we all have something we crave.
I want to crave God tremendously more than I crave food!
One my own, I can’t do that, but these three things from the book have been helping me:
1) Whenever you have a craving use it as a chance to pray.
The magazines and experts all tell us to distract ourselves when a craving hits–go into another room, go for a walk, read a book. I’m making a choice to “distract” myself with prayer.
2) Change your mindset.
Instead of feeling deprived that I can’t have something, I’m trying to change how I think about it. I’m trying to look at each good food choice as empowering. I can change…I can make a better decision…I’ve got this (empowered by the Holy Spirit, of course)!
3) Quote scripture.
One of the most helpful verses Lysa has shared so far (and a quick, easy one to quote to myself when I feel tempted to overeat or eat the wrong kind of food) is 1 Corinthians 10:23: “‘Everything is permissible’–but not everything is beneficial.”
Do you think food is spiritually significant? Where are you at in your journey this week?
Please note: I do know that there are medical issues that make it hard to lose weight, and I’m in the middle of being helped by an amazing doctor for hormone and adrenal issues (it should definitely help in the weight area once I get those under control). I know the frustration of physical issues well, but I don’t think we should just give up and say we can’t do it. We can cheer each other on!!
thanks for sharing! interesting stuff to think about…
It’s been great–the group of ladies has been so willing to share and be completely open. I really didn’t think about it in this way before. I bet you would have some interesting insight coming from a completely different culture (and much different foods) and I wish you were here!
🙂
I don’t have this book, but last Friday I decided to go on kind of a sugar fast. I try to eat pretty healthy already, but it seems if I want a few m&m’s (just an example, it could be anything!) that I don’t just eat a few!
Thanks for sharing! I love the three points you listed. I’ll definitely be using them myself.
That’s awesome! Are you feeling better (since you started the sugar fast)?
The book is really good–so much more I could say, but my post would be way too long!
I do actually feel great! I have some stomach issues which are always worsened when I eat too much sugar (you’d think I’d learn!), and my stomach has been doing great. I was planning for this to just be a one week thing but I’m thinking of going longer now. After Easter I’m planning to really, really limit the boys’ sugar. We live with my in laws so sometimes I don’t even realize how much sugar they eat. I mean, I know what they eat, but it just gets easy to say, “sure go ahead and eat that.”
As a member of sparkpeople.com, it is clear that one’s relationship with food is a big issue in dieting. IE one can loose all the weight they want, but if they don’t address the underlying issues, it tends to come back if they ever relax. Now to the question of relying on food more than God. It is possible that my answer to that is yes. Food is always there. It can taste wonderful and it can help my mood in the short term. God on the other hand, seems aloof and unreachable anymore. I do try and depend on him, but he is mum and unhelpful right now. I have no idea why. So yeah, it is possible I depend on food more. But I do try and not use food to make me feel better, as I know it doesn’t really work. So I don’t tend to use food to cheer me up much anymore. Not sure I am overly dependent on either, but then my moods haven’t been so good of late.
I go through seasons like that too when God feels distant, and I know it is easier for me to go ahead and eat the food I think is going to make me happy then to lean in and read God’s Word, pray, and sing (that’s one of my favorite ways to connect with God).
I think you’ve hit the nail on the head when you say “if they don’t address the underlying issues, it tends to come back if they ever relax”. I’m seeing that I need to change my mindset–this change is for life. What I was doing before isn’t working, and the eating habits I have during my “diet” are the same eating habits I need to keep the rest of my life.
Thanks for taking time to share!
Haven’t got the book yet, besides overeating – overspending is an issue with me, and over downloading and printing homeschool stuff. Your 3 suggestions are a good start. I’ve written them in my journal so I don’t forget.
Anyone doing this in the B’ham, AL area? I read this last year, but would love to go through it again with a group for accountability.
Thank you for introducing me to this book. I’m really struggling for the “want to”. I got the book on my kindle – and am enjoying it and it is making me think and examining my motives for eating and not focusing on God. While food isn’t an obsession for me – lack of motivation to exercise – is my main problem. All ready to go out the door and then don’t. I used to love to run but am unable to and haven’t found something to take its place. I am learning that I need to lean on God and have him help me. Thank you – I look forward to this journey together.