If you missed the first posts in the series:
- Made to Crave Book Study: Introduction
- Made to Crave: Week 1
- Made to Crave: Week 2
- Made to Crave: Week 3
For weeks we had been at an impasse. I could not figure out why my bright eight-year-old was throwing such a fit during her math lessons. She would get almost belligerent–asserting that she could not do math. “It is way too hard,” she sobbed on more than one occasion.
After a particularly grueling day, I just couldn’t take it any longer.
“We have got to change something, C. I just can’t do this. What is going on?”
She ran to me, buried her head in my side, and hugged me so hard, she almost pushed me over.
“I’m stupid, mom.”
I was shocked and wondered where in the world that came from. I probed for more information, and the story came spilling out. At a midweek event, one of the older girls at church told her she was stupid. As you can imagine, my first instinct was to be angry…I wanted to find that girl and give her a piece of my mind!
Thankfully, while I was contemplating my revenge, God reminded me of His great love for all of us–even mean little girls that call other girls names.
You know, as much as I hate it and can’t stand the thought of my children suffering, pain is a part of life. One of the most loving things I can do is give my daughter guidance and the tools to help her in those kind of situations. While I didn’t do it perfectly, I tried to help her realize she had internalized the lie as truth–and she was allowing it to dictate how she responded to her challenges.
“Well, I can’t do this, I must be stupid just like she said.”
Instead of allowing that lie to replay in her mind, I had to show her how to replace it with the truth straight from God’s Word.
Isn’t it crazy how the lies begin at such a young age? And sometimes, they stick with us into adulthood. In fact, I think we often don’t even realize we’ve traded truth for a lie. Here are some lies I’ve believed in the past:
- “I need everyone to like me.”
- “I can’t believe I just said that. Everyone will think I’m a loser.”
- “I knew I couldn’t change. I’m such a failure.”
- “No one ever comments on my blog. I must be a terrible blogger.”
- “She has it all together–clean house, good meals, great kids. Not me. I’m the world’s worst mom.”
- “The scale says I’ve gained three pounds, so I guess I’ll be mad and grumpy for the rest of the day. I define my worth by the scale.”
- “If I could just fit into these jeans, my life would be perfect.”
The past few years have been a healing part of my journey, and I’ve begun to see all the lies I’ve believed and replace them with truth from God’s Word. But I still struggle, and in the areas of food, my weight, and my worth, it seems to be taking a little longer to uproot those lies.
During Week 4 of Made to Crave, we talked about turning our triggers into truth–replacing the lies with truth:
- I need this food to soothe my feelings.
- I’m such a failure at this healthy eating stuff–I might as well give up.
- I feel so deprived.
Instead, I must take those thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5):
- I will turn to God when I’m hurting.
- I am not a failure. I am a victorious child of God.
- I choose to be empowered and make the right choice. Though everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial for me.
(Be sure to check out the Healthy Eating Go-To Scripts for more help in this area.)
If I’m honest, one of the biggest lies that catches me off guard sometimes is what Lysa TerKeurst discusses in Chapter 10:
It’s Not Fair
Ever heard that one?!! Ever said that one?!!
On Sunday, I found out that my best friend’s mom (who is like a second mother to me) was in the hospital. The prognosis is not very good. Then, two days ago, we had to put down our sweet dog who had been with us for almost 12 years (truly gut-wrenching for me–and oh, so heartbreaking to listen to the little girls’ cries).
Oh, and for the past 17 days, I’ve craved sugar like crazy, but I’ve lived without it in any form (except some fruit), had no grains, no dairy, and nothing fun to eat but meat, fish, veggies, salad, some nuts and other healthy fats. In the grand scheme of things, it isn’t really a big deal; but when you’re used to soothing your feelings with food….
All of those circumstances combined made me feel like whining, “It’s not fair. I don’t want to deal with these things. Hand over the chocolate. Now.”
You can see, I was not feeling at peace and my heart needed to be changed, so I had a little one-on-one time with God yesterday–just crying out to Him in my great weakness.
And you know what He said?
“Umm, no thanks.”
“Do I have to?
Oh, my little heart protested. I didn’t want to give thanks for grief and heartache. I didn’t want to give thanks when cancer is hurting my friend. I didn’t want to give thanks for stinking cravings.
But I did it anyway.
“God, I thank you for the years we had with our little buddy. I thank you for the tricks he could do, and how much he loved the girls. Thank you that he taught me to find the patch of sunlight and rest in it–even on the darkest day. Thank you for the tears that flow and the sorrow that I must walk through to allow my heart time to heal. Thank you that through grief we become more compassionate.”
“Oh, God, I thank you for allowing me to know such a sweet and loving woman. Thank you for her influence. Thank you for her care for me. Surround her with your care. Thank you for giving her time with her family. Thank you that even when the way is so hard, You carry us. Thank you that you know what it’s like to grieve and You are close to the brokenhearted.”
“God, thank you for my food issues. In light of all I’m going through, they seem so trivial, but you care about me and want me to take care of Your temple. You know my weaknesses…and You carry me. You love me enough not to let me circle this same old place a billion times. Instead, You challenge me to move. Thank you for this opportunity to receive Your grace and know You more.”
Guess what? I left that time of prayer with peace in the midst of the storm.
Though giving thanks in all things doesn’t change my circumstances, it changes my heart; and grace, truth, and gratitude are the antidote to the poisonous thoughts and attitudes in my mind.
Every. Single. Time.